


The Melting Ice

by ravenbringslight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Inspired by Art, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), M/M, Magical Healing Cock, Porn with Feelings, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sex, Sibling Incest, Single Sex Jotnar, and it's thor making loki feel loved, infinity war who I don't know her, look I know what I'm about, through the force of his emotional dickings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:15:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22656112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenbringslight/pseuds/ravenbringslight
Summary: Thor sees Loki's Jotun form for the first time. Loki has a lot of emotions to work through. Thor is there to help.
Relationships: Loki/Thor, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 816





	The Melting Ice

**Author's Note:**

> I have given Loki what is, frankly, far more emotional intelligence than he's earned, but I think he can have little a emotional intelligence as a treat. Just this once.
> 
> This was highly inspired by [this gorgeous piece of art](https://twitter.com/Darkellaine/status/1186011107670085633?s=20) by darkellaine, which you should go give some love. <3
> 
> Part of Loki's dialogue is inspired by an interview with Tom Hiddleston, where a fan asked him why he sent the Destroyer after Thor. You'll find Tom Hiddleston's answer in Loki's conversation with Thor.
> 
> I can't look at this any more, sorry for the typos I've inevitably missed.

They were replenishing their water supplies on an ice planet when Loki lost his footing and slipped into the freezing water. He didn’t even have time to cry out. One minute he was standing next to Thor, making a snide remark about his hair and leaning over for a kiss, and the next he was under the surface of the lake, his lungs and muscles seizing with the shock of the sudden cold.

Thor’s arm plunged in after him, but Loki couldn’t make his own arms move to grab hold, and he sank like a stone.

 _What a ridiculous way to die_ , Loki thought.

His hands floated in front of his face, frozen into claws, as white as snow. 

And then they began to change. The blue started at the tips of his fingers, crawling up his hands to his wrists, his forearms. Loki flexed his fingers. The water seemed comfortable, suddenly. Like a lukewarm bath. As the blue overtook the rest of his body, he kicked his legs, knifing towards the patch of sunlight that marked the hole in the ice he’d fallen through, and burst out into the air, gasping.

Thor had been in the process of tying a rope around his waist to dive in after him.

“Brother!” Thor cried, reaching for him, and Loki shied back.

“Don’t touch me,” Loki said, strangled. He realized it was the first time that Thor had ever seen him like _this_. “I’m fine,” Loki said. He stepped back. “I’m fine.”

“Brother,” Thor said again.

“Don’t look at me either,” Loki said tightly. He turned away and put his hands over his face, trying unsuccessfully to will the blue out of them. At least the Valkyrie and the others were already on their way back to the ship. He didn’t know what he would have done if anyone else had seen him in this form. Killed them, maybe. He laughed bitterly.

Thor’s hand fell on his shoulder and turned him around, and Loki tried to turn his face away.

“I didn’t mean to,” Loki said. “It happened on its own.”

This kind of honesty still felt too raw. It was a new thing between them, as new as their life on the Statesman, as new as the days they spent together and the nights they never spent apart, trying to love each other as best they knew how. Thor squeezed his shoulders through his leathers and touched his sodden hair.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Thor asked. He wasn’t asking about the fall into the icy water.

Loki finally dared to look at him. If he’d seen a hint of disgust he would probably have done something dramatic—stabbed Thor, or tried to freeze him with his frostbite touch (how did that even work?), or knocked _him_ into the lake—but all he saw was gentle concern in that one beloved eye.

“I’m sure,” Loki said. He stepped away from Thor’s touch, shaking his hands and blowing on his fingertips, and finally the blue started to fade. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s get back to the ship.”

*

Loki made himself scarce as soon as they got back. He knew that Thor would be busy for hours yet, and something had crystallized inside him on the way back to their floating mausoleum of a home, something that needed solitude.

He was a thrice-damned _coward_.

Loki had watched a parody of his own Jotun form every day for months in that blasted play, trying to desensitize himself as much as he was trying to repair his image, but he still knew nothing about it. He could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he’d taken that form—when the giant had touched him on Jotunheim, each time he’d touched the Casket, and once when...well, that one didn’t bear thinking about. 

Norns, he didn’t even know what he looked like.

He was avoiding it out of fear and shame. It was weakness, was what it was. He was letting his own body have power over him, and it made him sick to death of himself.

Well, he’d take some power back. Right now.

He strode to his room, their room, the cabin that he and Thor shared. He dialed the window opaqueness all the way up; he didn’t even want the stars looking at him. The ever-present glow of the running lights on the floor left him enough light to see by. Standing in the middle of the room, he closed his eyes and centered himself and reached out with his seidr to find that little flame of frost at the core of him, the one that responded so eagerly every time he touched the Casket. It responded now too, and let him coax it higher. The room around him grew uncomfortably warm, and, breathing harshly, Loki opened his eyes.

His hands were blue. This, at least, he had seen before. He pushed his sleeves up to mid-forearm, exposing the skin underneath, then just as quickly tugged them down again. He started pacing.

He couldn’t just strip. He’d nearly panicked just now looking at his still-three-quarters-clothed arm.

Shaking his head, Loki made himself stop pacing. This was absurd. He was smarter than this. Deep breaths in and out, and think.

Ah.

He closed his eyes and tried to center his breathing again. 

With a small gesture, he created a double of himself. It stepped two paces away and then turned to face him, standing still, arms at its sides.

This seemed easier, somehow. Doubles were things, not people. Little quirks of light and seidr, bent into a form to fool the eyes. He’d been making doubles of himself for centuries, and he’d long ago ceased to have any attachment to them whatsoever. They weren’t him.

Loki kept his line of vision on the double’s feet. It was dressed as Loki was right now, in the high-necked form-fitting suit he’d been favoring since Sakaar. He clasped his hands behind his back and willed his eyes to move upward. To the hands first, since he was already familiar with those. Blue. Black nails. Delicate lines traced onto the backs. He still had no idea what those were. He made the double hold its hands out and turn them over. The tracery stopped at the palms, which were smooth and tinged just the slightest bit purple. He had the double push its sleeves up just as he had moments ago. The tracery extended up the forearms, which seemed not to have any hair growing on them.

Deep breaths, in and out. Keep going.

He squeezed his eyes shut again.

 _Not a monster,_ he told himself. _You're the same as you've ever been. Look up. Look up and see what Thor saw. He didn’t flinch away._

_I’m not as brave as Thor is._

_You’re not this cowardly, either._

With an audible noise, Loki forced his eyes open and looked up into his own face.

*

Thor found him later, double long banished, barefoot on the floor in front of the mirror with his head in his hands. His tunic lay crumpled next to him.

“Brother,” Thor said gently.

Loki shuddered. He’d never looked less like Thor’s brother than he did right now, sniveling on the floor in his monster’s skin. To hear Thor call him ‘brother’ while he looked like this was a savage balm, both wounding and soothing at once. 

He felt Thor crouch down next to him, and then Thor’s hand on his shoulder. Loki shrugged away.

“Don’t,” Loki choked out.

“Are you hurt?”

Loki shook his head.

“What’s wrong?”

Loki huffed out a tearful laugh. “Look at me.” He gestured at his own chest, then to the mirror. Their reflections looked back at them—one pale face and one blue, one blue eye and two red. Thor touched his bare shoulder again. It was gentle and tentative, giving Loki the opportunity to throw him off, but Loki clenched his jaw and allowed it this time. Thor was always warm, but in this form his touch was scorchingly hot, bordering on painful. _Burn me_ , Loki thought.

“I see you,” Thor said.

“Does it not disgust you?”

“Why would you disgust me?”

“I disgust myself.”

Thor lowered himself the rest of the way to the floor. He leaned into Loki until their sides were pressed together, leg to leg, bare arm to bare arm. Loki fought to keep himself still, to not flinch away again. Thor wasn’t flinching.

“I don’t know how to control the frostbite touch,” Loki said to Thor’s reflection. “I might freeze you accidentally.”

“I’ll live,” Thor said.

Loki saw his own face twist, and he hid it in his knees.

“How are you so good?” Loki whispered.

“I’m not.”

“Yes are you.”

“No one is good,” Thor said. “Good people don’t exist. There are just...people. And we do good things and bad things, and sometimes things that are both at once.”

“What if you only ever do bad things?” Loki said. He was staring at his feet between his parted legs. Even his toenails were black. “I…” He swallowed thickly. “I tried to kill you because of this.”

Thor made a small noise of dissent. “Being Jotun doesn’t mean you inherently want to kill people—”

“That’s not what I meant. Once I found out who… _what_ I was… I thought that you’d kill me. I thought you would repudiate me, and hunt me down and slay me, and… I sent the Destroyer...”

“Brother,” Thor said, pained.

“I was wrong about that, just like I’m always wrong about everything. I’m sorry, Thor. I—”

Thor’s hands were on him, blazing hot, forcing him to look up into Thor’s face.

“ _I’m_ sorry,” Thor said hoarsely. He squeezed Loki’s shoulders, cupped his neck, and Loki couldn’t help but press into his touch even though the rest of him wanted to hide. “I knew that we had been growing distant, but that you ever thought there was even the smallest chance that I would… Hunt you down… I…”

Thor choked up.

“I don’t think that anymore,” Loki said. Thor’s tears were going to make him cry again.

“I never want you to feel that way again,” Thor said vehemently, blinking furiously. “ _Ever._ ”

Loki thought of that day in the vault, that horrible moment when his whole life had been proved a lie. How he’d wanted nothing more than for Odin to say, no, you’re wrong, you’re my son and always have been, this is just a trick of the light, a figment of your imagination. How his first panicked thought had been _I am not Thor’s brother_ and his second had been _But he’s still mine_.

 _”Am I cursed?”_ his own voice echoed in his head.

He'd daydreamed afterwards, in his lonely cell, on his lonely throne, what it might have been like if he hadn't been cursed. If he'd been a trueborn son of the crown. How Odin might have truly loved him and he might never have known the sting of always being second best, lesser than, the spare, the shadow.

But...

In a life where he had been born of Frigga, would he and Thor have grown up as intimately as they did? It was this Jotun heritage that had Odin set them at odds from the start, and the resulting rivalry that tangled them hopelessly together, in ways that brothers shouldn't. If he'd been Asgardian, and Odin had never done that, would he and Thor have been free of each other in a way that never would have led them here, into each other’s arms?

Perhaps he should be grateful for the two things that hurt him the most—Odin taking him, and this skin he found himself in. Maybe he could hate them and love them both at once.

After all, loving Thor was both his greatest hardship and his greatest joy. He had room inside himself for all of it.

Loki stroked Thor’s cheek, let his hand linger with his thumb on Thor’s lips. Thor kissed it, and Loki sucked in a breath. His mouth was scorching.

“Would you kiss me like this?” Loki whispered.

His answer came in the form of Thor’s lips meeting his own. Thor was still cradling his neck and jaw, and he felt surrounded by heat, enveloped. It was within him as well, a hot curl in his belly like a tongue of flame, stoked higher by Thor’s wet tongue licking into his mouth. Kissing his brother in this manner was still new enough that it made Loki a little giddy every time, and for Thor to kiss him when he was like _this_ positively set him alight. The sudden wave of arousal made him gasp, and Thor pulled away.

“Sorry, was that too much? I—”

Loki pulled him back in.

It was right at the edge of too much. The edge was where Loki had lived most of his life, though, and he wanted this. Needed it. Thor bore him to the floor with Loki’s arms around his neck, their lips still upon each other.

“Stop,” Loki gasped when Thor’s hand brushed the waist of his leggings. He hadn’t looked there yet. He didn’t know what to say. Back when he’d been masquerading as king he’d read every book the library had about Jotun biology. Some accounts differed, but...

“It’s ok,” Thor murmured, and took his hand away.

“Take me to the bed?”

Thor lifted Loki like he was a feather. Loki felt like he might be made of feathers, a pile of downy fluff that would scatter at the lightest breeze. Only Thor’s arms held him together. The flame in his belly licked lower, a gathering heat between his legs that felt different than it usually did, and he realized he was wet. Dripping. He whimpered.

Thor dipped his head to kiss him again, and Loki clutched at him. Gods, this burning inside of him. He ached for something to fill him in a way that he never had before. Thor. He wanted Thor inside him so badly he was dizzy with it, but he didn’t want Thor to see him, didn’t want to see himself, just wanted to _feel_ it, to close his eyes like it was a dream, and just feel Thor all around him and in him and—

He realized he was whimpering again, into Thor’s mouth. Thor set him on the bed and knelt astride him.

“You’re sure I don’t disgust you?” Loki said.

Thor looked pointedly down at the tent in his breeches. “Do I look disgusted?”

Loki swallowed. If Thor was this brave, Loki could at least try to be as well. He put his hands on Thor’s thighs and squeezed, though Thor’s hard flesh barely yielded.

“I suspect—” Loki started. He found himself clenching the muscles in his pelvis against the tingling ache inside him. “I probably don’t look like a man,” he whispered. “Between my legs.” At Thor’s raised eyebrow, he said, “I probably don’t look like a woman either.”

“Probably?”

Loki’s cheeks burned. “I haven’t looked yet.”

“It’s been years,” Thor said in surprise, and Loki could only shrug helplessly. Thor’s gaze melted into warmth. He kissed Loki again, soft.

“This form is _you_ ,” Thor said when they pulled apart. “There is no part of you I don’t desire. Please, brother, if you believe anything I say, believe that.”

Loki nodded, his throat tight. He thought of Thor’s unflinching intimacy since the moment he’d surfaced from the lake, and it struck him that for all the loathing he had surrounding his own body, that Thor had yet to shy away from him. Maybe he could help Loki find what he couldn’t find himself.

“Help me,” Loki managed. “Look for me. Tell me… What you see.”

Thor looked down at him, tenderly, his gaze considering. He stroked up Loki’s arms to his shoulders. He kissed his forehead, each trembling eyelid, his mouth, stopping for a moment to lip at his neck. Loki shivered. Thor continued down, running his lips along Loki’s collarbone, laying a kiss on his chest, then one on each nipple, drawing a tiny gasp each time, nuzzling his nose down to Loki’s navel, kissing the edge of it and then laying his cheek there, rubbing his beard against the soft skin of Loki’s underbelly. It felt like Thor was on a mission to mark every inch, claim each one as desirable just as he’d said.

“Thor,” Loki whimpered, half out of his mind. He clutched Thor’s head and tried to resist the urge to grind himself up into him.

Thor nudged at the waistband of Loki’s leggings, laying a line of hot wet kisses just inside the edge. He hooked both hands into them, then looked up at Loki, questioning. Loki bit his lip and nodded. His breath left him all in a rush when Thor tugged his leggings down to his knees, and then off, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

He felt Thor’s hands on his hips, on his thighs, firm but gentle, stroking him until he trembled, and then calmed enough for the trembling to stop. Thor’s mouth replaced his hands, hot and wet, kissing his belly, his hips. Down the outside of his thighs, and then up the inside. Loki squirmed, hollow and aching and wanting and terrified. Thor kissed the crease between his thigh and his groin and Loki groaned and pressed his palms into his closed eyelids.

“Tell me what you see,” Loki pleaded. “What am I?”

“Hmm,” Thor said, the rumbly hum of it against Loki’s skin sending shivers through him. “You’re Loki.”

“ _Thor_.”

“The God of Mischief. A trickster. Sometimes hero.”

Loki opened his eyes and raised his head to glare at Thor in annoyance. Thor only grinned up at him.

“Sometimes weasel.”

Loki began trying to push Thor’s face away with his foot, but Thor caught it and kissed the instep, then pressed it against his cheek. It made Loki inhale sharply; with his leg up like this he could feel the air against the newly exposed skin between his legs. It felt so different from how it usually did. He was caught halfway between laughter and tears. He let his head drop back into the pillows and looked at the ceiling.

“Thor,” he said again.

“My best friend,” Thor continued more seriously. “My brother.”

Loki sniffled as one tear fell down his cheek.

“The person I love most in the universe.”

A second tear joined the first, and Loki threw his arm over his face. Thor was trying to make him laugh, and reassure him, and Loki loved him for it, but he still needed to _know_.

“Brother, please,” Loki whispered.

Thor’s hands squeezed his hips, an acknowledgement.

“Ok,” Thor murmured. “Alright.

“You look…” Thor started. He sighed. “Beautiful. Your skin here has no hair, and it’s a little bit purple, like your palms, or your cheeks when I make you blush. Don’t hit me, yes I can tell when I make you blush, I have one eye, not none. You have a pretty little cock. The size of your thumb, perhaps? It looks like it might nestle back into your body when it’s done. I want to put the whole thing in my mouth.”

Loki’s cheeks burned. Thor was describing him with such tender care that he wanted to weep. Thor’s thumbs kneaded at the crease of his groin, then gently nudged his legs apart, and gave the little bits of flesh on his inner thighs a squeeze. His disembodied voice continued.

“Just beneath it, where your stones might be, the skin is smooth and plump, and divides into two mounds with the sweetest little cunt between them. Your lips are like petals, dusky purple, and right now everything is slick with your honey. The smell of you is driving me mad. I want to bury myself there and not come up for a week.”

“Gods,” Loki said, strangled.

Thor was pulling Loki’s arm away from his face, and Loki didn’t resist, and Thor kissed him, long and deep, and Loki let himself drown in it for a moment to save himself from thinking. His body just wanted to press closer to Thor. To take him in. His… Dear gods, his _cunt_ ached.

Thor took Loki’s hand and guided it down between them.

“You should touch before I do,” Thor murmured.

To Loki’s trembling fingers, it all felt as Thor had described. He was hard, and his cock fit completely into his palm. He tried not to burn with the indignity of it. He’d never thought of his manhood as being particularly large nor small, and had contented himself with its lack of remarkability, but this was something else entirely. He slid his fingers down further, where they found a soft slick warmth, and he gasped. He sat up, and Thor drew back, and he steeled himself. He told himself that he would see what Thor saw, just the way Thor had described so sincerely.

He looked down.

“Gods,” Loki laughed, sniffling. “Look at me.” His half laugh turned into a full one, and then another, and he flopped back, arms spread out wide, fully on display. And why not? It was all so very ridiculous, wasn’t it? Loki’s skin was blue, and his eyes were red, and he had a cock and a cunt both, and his own brother was kneeling between his legs like he wanted to be there regardless of any of it.

Loki couldn’t stop laughing.

Thor crawled up to lay next to him and kissed him, and when he pulled back Loki realized that his hysterical laughter had turned into tears. Thor kept stroking his cheek with his thumb.

“Everything is so very… _very_ much,” Loki said. 

“I can leave you alone tonight if you want,” Thor said. “Give you time to—”

“ _No_ ,” Loki said harshly, then more gently, “No. Please.” The thought of being alone after all this, with his mind spinning off in six different directions with nothing to anchor it, was terrifying in a way he couldn’t quite put into words. At least with Thor here he had something to hold onto, and not just metaphorically. His body still yearned for Thor’s touch. For something to prove that he was still Loki underneath it all.

He took Thor’s hand and put it on his chest. It seared into him like a brand.

“I need to make this body feel like mine,” Loki said.

Thor got his arm around Loki’s waist and tugged him closer and Loki went. His naked flesh pressed against Thor’s clothing.

“You’re not close enough,” Loki said, and vanished every stitch of it.

Thor groaned and pulled Loki flush against his front. Loki threw his leg over Thor’s to get them even closer. He groaned himself at the feeling of Thor’s thigh between his legs and he couldn’t help but rut against it, smearing his slick into Thor’s skin. Thor’s cock dug into his hip, huge and hard. He was so hot, everywhere. Loki was going to burn up.

“I can’t believe that you still want me like this,” Loki said into Thor’s neck.

Thor got a handful of Loki’s backside and ground them together, drawing helpless noises from both of them.

“I always want you,” Thor said. “It’s the one part of my life that’s never changed, no matter how much I—tried— _ahh_ , brother—”

Loki had gotten Thor’s earlobe into his mouth and was sucking on it, making Thor shiver and clutch at him. It made Loki feel powerful, and wanted. He realized suddenly that just as much as he needed Thor to touch him, that he needed to touch Thor too. To know that he could do it without hurting him, and that Thor would continue to not shy away.

Loki rolled them so that he was on top, holding Thor’s wrists up above his head. He dipped his head down as if for a kiss, then pulled his lips back, making Thor chase him. It made Thor huff in frustration and break Loki’s loose hold, rolling them again so that this time Thor was astride Loki instead.

“Hold still,” Thor said fondly, pinning Loki’s wrists to the mattress on either side of his head. “I told you I wanted to get you in my mouth, didn’t I?”

Loki wiggled, testing Thor’s hold. Gods, he just wanted Thor to fuck him. He wanted it so badly he could feel it, how Thor would just sink into him, right to the hilt, how that delicious empty ache between his legs would feel so _full_. Gods, he was going to lose whatever sanity he had left.

“Get on with it, then,” Loki said, trying to sound authoritative, trying not to blush. 

He gasped as Thor’s mouth descended on him. Thor’s tongue was hot and wet and when he swirled it around Loki made a noise that surprised himself. His cock had never been this sensitive before. Pleasure forked through him like lightning, making him twist and grab at the sheets so that he didn’t just take hold of Thor’s head and start bucking. Thor was right, the whole thing fit in his mouth. He suckled at Loki, dragged his tongue all over him, then took his cock in a light-fingered grip and ran the head back and forth over his lips. It was outrageous how much sensation this one small piece of flesh had.

“Doing alright?” Thor asked. He slid his hands up Loki’s hips to his belly, big and rough and calloused and spanning Loki’s entire width and then some, and nuzzled into the crease of his groin.

Loki mmmed and hooked one leg around Thor’s back, stroked him with his foot. The sheets were already wet underneath him just from the attention Thor had given him so far. This body loved Thor just as much as his other one did, it seemed. That was good. Wanting Thor was a fundamental part of him; maybe this meant he was still himself. 

Thor was nosing downward now, towards the part of Loki’s body they had yet to explore, and Loki felt a thread of tension pull tight in his chest. He wanted Thor there. He wanted to feel his brother’s mouth on him. He was terrified of it.

Thor went slowly, gently. He kissed the inside of Loki’s thigh, then the other, then the tip of his cock, and then he was licking down, and down, and kept going, all the way to where the wetness was collecting between Loki’s legs, and then kissed there too.

“Thor,” Loki breathed.

Thor made good on his promise to bury himself there, and Loki thought dazedly that he might not even mind if they stayed like this for the week that Thor had threatened so glibly. The thread of tension in him eased, and then another took its place. A throbbing electric charge began to build up in Loki’s core. Thor’s tongue was everywhere, Loki’s inner thighs, his cock, the folds of his cunt, the hidden innermost place of him that had never been touched before. He clutched at Thor’s head and moaned, ground his brother’s face against him, and it only made Thor more eager, his massive hands holding Loki’s thighs spread so that he could take him apart that much easier.

Loki didn’t want it to be over yet, but suddenly he was tipping over the edge, crying out and arching off the bed while Thor held onto him and kept at it through the whole trembling thing. It was like falling off a cliff, his whole body pulsing with white-hot pleasure, his mind floating out of his incandescent body for a moment.

“Stop, stop,” Loki gasped, and pulled Thor up to kiss him, to taste his own slick on his brother’s lips.

Thor’s cock was hard against his belly. He still wanted it inside of him.

“Good?” Thor asked. Loki was only going to hum his agreement, but then his brain caught up with the thin note of anxiety in Thor’s voice.

He cupped Thor’s neck and looked at his face for a moment, searching.

His mind whirled, coming to several conclusions all in the space of a moment. 

If Thor had ever shown this anxiety earlier, perhaps if Loki had taken this form at the very beginning of their physical relationship here on the ship, or even earlier—in the Observatory, in prison, on Sakaar—Loki would have twisted it. He would have taken Thor’s uncertainty and used it as a weapon, to hurt Thor and defend himself. He would have accused him of being loath to touch a frost giant, of hating Loki, of fighting through his disgust to show his little brother pity or charity and prove his own wretched worthiness.

But the last few months had changed things. Loki wasn’t quite the enraged thing he used to be, and he knew his brother better now than he ever had before. And, moreover, he was willing to let his own defenses down and not see an attack in every word. He’d accused Thor once of becoming soft, but really Thor had just ceased to see everything as a weapon and become _better_. Loki felt like he might finally be a little softer and a little better himself, though it had taken him longer to get there.

And so, here in his brother’s arms in the form he was born in, his body buzzing from the strength of their lovemaking, and softer, and better, he thought he recognized Thor’s anxiety for what it was. Not an attack, and not even just “are you good?”, but also “was I good?” That Thor was nervous he wasn’t doing everything exactly right; that he was doing his best and was scared that it might not be enough and that he might be letting Loki down; that he was trying. And Loki accepted it for what it was, this vulnerability, and loved Thor all the more fiercely for it.

Loki wrapped himself around Thor completely, hugging him with his arms and legs both and burying his face in Thor’s neck. He could tell it surprised Thor for a moment, but only for a moment. Then Thor’s arms were around him too, crushing them together. Every inch of Loki’s monster skin was touching Thor, and Thor was holding him as tightly as he ever had, and Loki tried not to sob into his neck.

“Good,” Loki said, his voice muffled against Thor’s skin. “Really good. The best I’ve ever been.” 

They ended up kissing again, soft and lingering. Thor laced their fingers together on the pillow by their heads and stroked Loki’s hand with his thumb, and Loki turned his head and kissed it. He looked at their joined hands. Gold and blue, sunshine and frost, intertwined. It was almost beautiful. Maybe one day he could see it as wholly so.

“Do you still see your brother?” Loki asked, his head still turned.

“Yes,” Thor said simply.

Thor nuzzled into his neck and Loki sighed, and scritched his fingers through Thor’s hair. Thor’s hard cock was still pressed against his hip and Loki moved against him and made him groan.

“Get inside me,” Loki whispered into Thor’s ear.

Loki was no stranger to Thor being inside of him, but it had never been this easy. There had always been pain and discomfort to work through in order to find the pleasure. There was no pain or discomfort this time. Thor slid into him as easily as rain sinking into the earth, and Loki’s body welcomed him in, slick and wanting. It was a different kind of fullness than he was used to. It was wonderful. Thor pushed in until their pelvises were flush together, Loki’s little cock trapped between them, and Loki ground up into him, the pressure against it feeling too good not to.

“Alright?” Thor said breathlessly.

“I would tell you if it wasn’t.”

“I know, but…”

Again, that thin thread of anxiety, and Loki pulled Thor down into a kiss.

“You’re perfect,” Loki said. “Better than I deserve. Brother, please, don’t—”

Thor was already shaking his head. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. “You’re perfect,” he said again. “I’m perfect. This is perfect.”

Thor kissed him this time, and Loki made a noise into his mouth when he began to move inside of him. Thor was so hot. His whole huge hot body was blanketing Loki, wrapping around him, was _in_ him, burning him up from the inside out. Loki was ice, and Thor would melt him. It felt so good. Thor thrust into him and Loki got one of his legs around the small of Thor’s back, held him pinned close, and groaned at the feel of Thor’s pelvis against his cock. Maybe it was his clit. Maybe it didn’t matter. He rocked them together and clutched at the back of Thor’s neck.

“You should live here,” Loki heard himself saying. “Right here, inside me like this, always—”

Thor was mouthing at his neck, his jaw, his earlobe.

“Always,” Thor promised between kisses, “always, always.”

Loki came again improbably quickly, his body already primed, and his nails dug into Thor’s back as Thor fucked him through it, and then he went limp for a moment and just let Thor do as he pleased while Loki stroked the back of his neck and figured out how to make his ennervated body move again. He would have been content just to lie there and let Thor take his pleasure—if he’d been in his Asgardian form he would have, he’d have been too spent for anything else—but this Jotun form was capable of more than that, it seemed, and he felt the charge inside him start to build again, somehow. It was more than just Thor’s cock dragging against him. It was the feel of his powerful body, thick between Loki’s thighs, and the idea that the slickness easing his way had nothing to do with oil and everything to do with Loki himself and the force of his desire, and it was the blue of Loki’s hands against his brother’s rippling body and how Thor leaned into his touch and not away from it, and before Loki knew it he was throwing himself into it again, meeting every one of Thor’s thrusts with one of his own, and approaching perilously close to that cliff’s edge once again.

Thor pushed himself up on his arms to get a better angle, his thrusts growing rapid, frenzied, shallow, barely pulling out, just slamming in over and over again, and Loki heard himself huffing a noise with each slap of their skin together. Thor was close, Loki could tell, and Loki was close too, and everything was so slick, so wet, he needed just a little more friction, he needed to just pull Thor in and grind against him—but Thor was mindless right now, and Loki was helpless under the force of it, and so he chased Thor with his hips, and whispered a broken litany of “brother, please, ah, just, right there, a little bit, please, brother” and clutched at his arms, and then, finally, Thor was coming, thrusting high up into Loki and holding there with a groan, and Loki nearly sobbed with relief, and wrapped both legs around Thor’s waist and ground them together, hard, and everything went white-hot and ecstatically electric, and he came too.

Thor rolled them onto their sides, still inside of him, and they held each other. Loki drifted back down into his body, sleepy and warm. He had a mental image out of nowhere of the two of them, tangled together in this bed, in this ship, floating in the vastness of space, a tiny speck of nothing. And how he had been avoiding an intrinsic part of his being for so long because it seemed too big, and how it was actually so very small.

Thor kissed him, interrupting his thoughts, and another thought suddenly surfaced, startling somehow.

_And I’m so very loved._

Loki wanted to thank Thor for this, but he didn’t know how. The words ‘thank you’ were laughably inadequate, to the point that saying nothing seemed better than cheapening it like that.

“I want you to know,” Thor murmured. “That you’re beautiful—”

Loki made a small scoffing noise, and Thor hushed him. “I’ve been practicing this all day,” Thor said. “Let me get it out. You’re beautiful and you always have been, in this form and in any other you’ve ever taken. Because every form is you. Do you understand? They’re all _you_.”

Thor’s eye bored into him, serious and tender at once, and Loki swallowed, his throat tight.

“Do you really think I have beauty left in me after the things I’ve done?” Loki said.

“Yes. Gods help me, but I love you at your best and at your worst and everything in between. You’re my beautiful, terrible, wicked brother and every morning I wake up next to you is the best day of my life.”

“Stop,” Loki said, his cheeks flaming, and Thor kissed him.

“Look at that pretty purple blush,” Thor said. “Ow, don’t pinch me.” He laughed, and caught Loki’s offending hand, and kissed his fingertips.

They snuggled together and Loki dozed off. When he woke an hour or two later, he was sticky, and a little cold, and he realized he wasn’t blue anymore. It seemed like his body reverted back to the state it was used to when he wasn’t concentrating on it. Thor’s spot on the bed was empty, but still warm. His rising was probably what had woken Loki up.

Thor was standing by the window. He’d dialed the opacity back, and he gazed out into the stars. Loki joined him, slipping his arms around Thor’s waist from behind and pressing his cheek to Thor’s back. Thor hummed and leaned back into him. Loki peeked over his shoulder at their reflections in the glass.

“We’re only a week out from Earth,” Loki murmured. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to go back?”

Thor squeezed his hands. “Yes, of course. The people of Earth love me. I’m very popular.”

Loki bit at Thor’s shoulder, just hard enough to make him squirm a bit. “Let me rephrase that. Do you really think it’s a good idea to bring _me_ back to Earth?”

Thor turned and wrapped his own arms around Loki’s waist and rocked them back and forth. “Probably not, to be honest. But I wouldn’t worry, brother. I feel like everything’s going to work out fine.”

“Hmm,” Loki said. He had his own doubts, but right now he had other things on his mind. Thor-shaped things. The stars sailed through the window behind Thor, beautiful and undisturbed, and Loki walked his fingers up Thor’s chest. “Come back to bed.”

Thor smiled. Loki had no intentions of going Jotun again right now, but—

“Already?” Thor said. 

Loki found himself smiling back, a real smile, one that turned mischievous at the edges.

“I want to have my beautiful, terrible, wicked way with you again.”

**Author's Note:**

> They go to Earth and Thor hoes potatoes and Loki starts a collection of Hermes scarves and then they get bored and sail off into the stars by themselves and visit every realm in the universe and fuck in every single one of them. 
> 
> <http://www.twitter.com/thunderingraven>


End file.
